All right friends, if there’s one epiphany I’ve had during this tumultuous time of viruses and quarantine it’s “If doomsday is a comin’ I don’t want to go it alone”. Now more than ever the importance of companionship, love and someone to go through the Zombie Apocalypse with urges me forward in my quest to find my other half.
If you’re feeling the same then you’re in the right place to Find the Guy You Want on Bumble. I’m going to be dropping some game changing tips and essential strategies for you to find your guy. Whether you’re on Bumble now or you’re thinking of joining—these tips will get him responding to your messages and asking you out.
I’ve explored just about every dating App known to man and I think Bumble is one of the better bets. Bumble enjoys the number two spot in the dating app world and is nipping at the heels of Tinder. Kids, this is a numbers game and we need as even a playing field as possible.
…So let’s navigate this Bumble world together and make some magic happen.
A few caveats here:
1. You’re in a good place to find your main squeeze and not looking to squeeze as many lemons as possible (if you know what I mean). There are a few other Apps for you multiple squeezers out there that may better suit you… and we can get into those another time.
2. You’re clear about your past and ready to move forward to something meaningful.
Cool. We got that out of the way!
The nifty thing about Bumble is that only female users can make the first contact with matched male users—same sex matches allow either person to send the first message.
I didn’t and still don’t necessarily love having to make the first move BUT it has given me a new appreciation of what the fellas go through. It also cuts down on the myriad of nonsense messages from men you have no interest in and wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.
Keep in mind that Bumble is a free phone app which uses Apple iOS and Android but you can purchase upgrades: Bumble Boost and Bumble Coins.
· Bumble Boost unlocks features such as, seeing users who have already swiped right on your profile, re-matching with expired connections, and extending your matches for an additional 24 hours.
· With Bumble Coins you can send Super Swipes, and activate Spotlight to maximize your profile views.
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. The Profile
So, we’ve defined our goal: To find a forever someone or a significant amount of time someone and we know (generally) how the App works.
Your profile is Queen here. If it isn’t optimized, it isn’t happening. Seriously. I’ve heard from so many of my guy friends that they don’t respond to messages because well, the profile lacks substance or her opening message was kinda lame.
Bumble gives you 300 characters in your profile to give the reader a snap shot of who you are.
Pro Tip: Humor trumps just about everything, if you can infuse your profile with bits of humor and lightness that are genuinely and uniquely you—it’s gold. I promise. They will flock to you, messages will be answered and you’ll need a personal assistant to keep your social calendar in order.
The Don’ts
- Absolutely no boring one liners like “Just seeing what’s out there”.
^^^^^
That is the worst ever. It shows that you don’t take it seriously, so why should anyone take you seriously?
- No negativity allowed. Do not, I repeat do not start or inject your profile with negative statements like “Don’t respond if….” Or “I’m not looking for a hook up” instead rephrase it with something like “I hope to find a committed relationship”. No one wants to be with a downer or a negative Nancy so make sure your language reflects your positive outlook and lovely self.
- No bullet point listing.
So many times, I see women simply bullet point list the things they like to do—how boring?! Uhmm, yeah who doesn’t like to travel, hike, bike, read, yoga….??
That list says nothing about who you are in this world. There’s no glimpse of your humor or your personality or your fabulousness.
The Do’s
- Sharing a weird or fun fact about you
- Sharing something that you made recently
- Sharing some obscure bit of knowledge you have
Are you a little sassy or provocative? Enjoy a good-natured debate?
Sharing an unpopular opinion in your bio can spark an interesting convo and give the reader a bird’s eye view of what you’re all about (Note: this is not about being divisive or a complete jerk it’s more about showing off a fun quirk that makes you distinctly you.)
Here are some awesome examples I found while hunting around online:
Hannah 31
Unpopular opinions…
memory foam is extremely uncomfortable. snakes make great pets. android > apple.
Jackie 40
Unpopular opinions:
– Brussel sprouts are tastiest raw.
– Tom Cruise is an amazing actor.
– mini golf is boring and all-around horrible.
Try asking a thoughtful question in your profile, it reveals quite a bit about you and the way you think. A clever “would you rather” question shows you’re interested in chatting and not just swiping.
Here are some more great examples to get your motor going:
Would you rather spend the rest of your life with a sailboat as your home or an RV as your home?
Would you rather have all of your clothes fit perfectly…
… or have the most comfortable pillow, blankets, and sheets in existence?
Try “most likely/least likely” as an easy and fun way to share what you are…and are not…into.
Annie 35
Most likely to laugh at inappropriate times.
Least likely to watch horror movies.
Liv, 30
most likely to get lost in my own city…
…least likely to order a salad on our first date.
You get the picture. Bottom line keep it light, welcoming and fun. And don’t forget Humor is the golden ticket.
Speaking of picture, let’s talk Profile Pictures.
As we all know, men are particularly visual creatures and this App is all about swiping through pictures so yours need to stand out and be an accurate representation of who you are at this moment .
Be honest about exactly what you look like—dated pictures, pics of you minus 30 lbs, or with a facetuned nose are simply not honest (if that’s not you currently).
The biggest gripe I hear from men is about the “filter pics”. My soul sisters, it’s so obvious and ultimately incredibly misleading when you do this. Just stop.
Picture Don’ts
- Posting photos with you and your girl gang (how can he figure out who YOU are?). If your girlfriends are more attractive than you, well, that’s just distracting.
- A photo that has been cropped to hide something about your body. Yep. They’re on to us, that birds eye camera angle isn’t fooling anyone anymore.
- A photo that only features you and another man in it (unless it’s clearly your father or Grandpa). Why make him wonder if that’s an ex or a buddy or a somethin’ to do?
- No tiger pictures. It’s just tasteless.
- Every photo has you in huge dark sunglasses.
- Blurry photos.
- Duck lips. End this today, it looks ridiculous.
Picture Do’s
Lead with your best picture—the first image on your profile should be your money shot. No big glasses, no hair in your face, no group shot-- just the best face picture of you.
- Post photos of you doing fun stuff.
- Pictures of you doing weird things are always winners and great conversation starters.
- Pictures you post should FEATURE you or either be you alone—don’t forget you’re the star of the show here, not your dog.
- Smiles win the day. Scientific research shows that men gravitate to women smiling far more (like, exponentially more) than women without a smile. Rule of thumb, for every serious picture you should have at least one other smiley picture.
Pro Tip: Bumble users are most active between 8pm-10pm so this is the best time to find your match. FYI, Bumble activity is highest on Sunday and lowest on Friday. So we know where we’ll be Sunday night between 8pm-10pm, right?
Messaging: We Matched! Now What??
It’s official you both matched each other!!! Yay!! Now it’s your turn to get that convo rolling.
Do not send a “hello” “hi” or “how are you?” message. If you take anything from this article heed this point.
Sending a message like “hi” or “what’s up” or “how was your weekend” is so absolutely, unequivocally, uninspired. It shows no thought, no effort, no creativity—it does show laziness and a lack of care.
It takes effort to stand out. Quality is what matters. So when you're ready to send that message, look at the profile, read it—then read it again, study the pics and send a conversational message—a message that is inviting and inspires further conversation.
Think of things that would move YOU to respond.
Sincerity, wit and humor always win! The key to the first message conundrum question is in his profile—what struck you about his profile? What do y
ou share in common? Is there something that made you laugh in his bio or at one of his pictures? Ask him a thought-provoking question (nothing too deep but something interesting).
This is also a good time to state your romantic intentions if you so feel inclined. It’s your world my dear, and he’s lucky to be in it.
And the rest is up to you…. Happy Bumbling!!
Remember, you are amazing and worthy of only the BEST.
Ps. Please be careful when you decide to meet—never ever meet at his home, and always keep it in a public place until you feel 100% comfortable.
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